Sue's Birthday

My mother-in-law's birthday is still seven months away, but Scott and I have already decided on the PERFECT present for her...another grandchild!  Sue's birthday is September 14th, and that is also the due date for our first child!

Our road to becoming parents didn't begin as smoothly as we had hoped.  The first time I got a positive pregnancy test was on September 20, 2010.  Scott and I were so happy! 

We went to Eddie Merlot's the following night to celebrate our baby.  The next Saturday, we went to see my family in Columbia City.  We had Quentin wear a t-shirt that said, "I'm the big cousin" and waited for everyone to notice.  The next day, we went over to Scott's parent's house.  We gave Sue an "early retirement" present...a positive pregnancy test.  Of course, everyone was excited to welcome a new baby to the family.  Quentin even gave the baby a name...Grovo.  Unfortunately, we never got to meet Grovo.  On October 26th, his heart stopped beating and my heart broke.

I suspected that I might be pregnant again a few days after Christmas, but I didn't take another pregnancy test until January 1st.  Scott and I decided that 2010 was an unlucky year, and we wanted to start fresh in 2011.  On December 31st, Scott came home from work and said, "so are you testing at 12:01?"  Absolutely!  Right after watching the ball drop to ring in the new year, I went upstairs to go to the bathroom.  I figured I would take the test back downstairs, and Scott and I would watch for it to change together.  That wasn't possible.  Before I even left the bathroom, I could tell that it was starting to turn positive.  As I walked down the stairs, I said, "Happy new year!"  Scott said, "oh my gosh!  You're kidding!"

Before taking the pregnancy test, we had talked about how different it would be this time.  Our innocence was gone.  We no longer felt like nothing bad could happen to us.  We worried that we wouldn't be able to allow ourselves to get as excited this time around.  All of that worry was gone as soon as we saw the positive test.  We talked about how we couldn't believe how happy we were.  We were definitely more nervous than we had been with Grovo, but we were just as excited as we had been with him.  As the weeks go by, we continue to get more and more excited to meet our new baby!

Two weeks ago today, I went to my first doctor appointment (with a new doctor, by the way).  At that point, a "good" heartbeat would have been 126 bpm or higher.  I was so thrilled to hear a strong heartbeat of 150!  The baby was smaller than expected, but it's not like Scott and I are giants.  The doctor wasn't at all concerned about the small size, but I was, so he said I could come back in two weeks to see that the baby is growing.  I went back today.  The baby has grown just as it should.  It is exactly two weeks bigger than it was two weeks ago.  It's heartbeat is 166!  And this baby is lucky enough to have an older sibling up in Heaven watching out for it.

So, this has officially become a "Mommy Blog."  Let the countdown begin... 

Scott

I first met Scott on April 20, 2007. I knew from the first time that I talked to him that there was something special about him. Three-and-a-half years later, I have learned just how right I was.

This past week has been the worst week of my life. This is no exaggeration. In the past, I may have thought I had horrible things happen to me, but nothing compares to this week. Maybe someday I'll be ready to write about it. For now, it will help me to write about Scott and how much he has helped me through this week.

I know this has been a painful week for Scott, too, but he has stayed strong for me and put me first. He has let me cry, and cry, and cry. He knows when to say something to try to make me feel better, and he knows when to just stop talking and let me continue to cry. Scott has listened to me talk on and on about our ordeal. He's let me rehash the whole experience multiple times, and he's listened to my questions of "why?" He has also heard every statistic that I can possibly find and every nightmare and fear that I've had. He's helped me to stop blaming myself. I'm still working on this one. He knows when I need to laugh and when a joke is absolutely the last thing that I want to hear. He also seems to know what can be joked about and what is off-limits. This has definitely not been a fun week to be around me, but Scott has made me feel like there is nowhere else he would rather be. I cannot say enough about how much I appreciate all that Scott has done for me, and will continue to do as we work through this difficult time.

I also want to thank the others that have helped me this week. Thank you to my mom who came to stay with me, take care of me and my house, and has also talked me through this daily. I could not have gotten through this without her.

Thank you to all my other family members and friends who have been there for me to talk, call, email, text, etc. Thanks to all the people I work with who have proven to me that they are more than just coworkers; they are great friends and my extended family.

I know that with everyone's help, I will get through this, and I will be a stronger person for it.

My Dad

In honor of Father's Day, I've decided to write a post for my dad.

About five years ago, I went through a rather rough time in my life.  I was sad.  I hated my job because I had a horrible boss and a tough group of kids.  I started to realize that my relationship with my best friend was disintegrating.  And I was single again, after my most recent seven-weeker dumped me, when all I wanted was to be happily married.  In an effort to understand my hardships, I turned to some self-help books.  Of course, I focused on my lack of a relationship as my source of unhappiness, so the self-help books pointed at my dad as the cause.  I clearly remember the day that I sat at lunch telling my mom that I thought I'd been unsuccessful at finding true love because of my dad.  I told her that I was the type of person who needed a doting dad.  I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful and special every day, and Dad didn't do that.

What I've learned over the last five years (especially the last two) is that I was wrong.  And I've felt guilty about that conversation with my mom ever since.

I've learned that my dad gave me the best possible start at being an incredible wife.

My dad raised an independent woman who didn't need to constant reassurance of a man.  I'm not a high-maintenance girl.  I like for my husband to tell me how special I am every once in awhile, but the strength of our marriage doesn't rely on it happening every day.  I have enough confidence to know that I'm special, whether someone else tells me that or not.  My dad taught me that actions speak louder than words.  It may not have been part of his daily routine to tell me that I was one of the best things that ever happened to him, but I felt it every single day.  Because of my dad, I've learned to tune into the feelings of others.  I've learned to feel the things that some people don't feel comfortable saying. 

I've learned that my dad gave me the best possible start at being an incredible parent.

My dad raised a woman who will be proud of her future children's accomplishments.  Growing up, I saw that many parents expect their children to follow in their footsteps, and can only be proud of them if they do so.  My dad's major interests are music and sports.  I didn't have much interest in music, and I was always pretty terrible at all sports.  My dad didn't care.  He was proud of what I did accomplish.  He cheered me on during my boring spell bowl competitions.  He taught me how to study, which led to the eventual accomplishment of being valedictorian of my high school class.  He never missed an opportunity to see a play that I was in.  He sang my praises as a waitress and helped me to win best waitress in the county two years in a row.  He was my biggest supporter when I started looking for teaching jobs.  When I got married (finally!), my dad did everything he could to make it the best day of my life...including surprising me by singing the song for the father-daughter dance, which had always been my dream.  The point is...no matter what I did, my dad was there to root me on.  He did this because he loved me for me, not for who he could mold me into.

So, thank you, Dad, for helping to make me into the wonderful woman that I am today.  I love you.  Happy Father's Day!

Easter

My mom and dad are getting ready to go on a cruise for Spring Break.  They flew to New Orleans on Friday morning, and their cruise ship will be leaving soon (if it hasn't left already).  Because of this trip, we didn't get to celebrate Easter with them.  (They were just in Indy last weekend, though, so I guess we could call that our Easter celebration.)

Anyway, I knew they wouldn't be around, but Brandon would, so when I heard about an Easter Egg Hunt in my neighborhood on Saturday, April 3rd, I asked Brandon if he would have the boys.  He said that he would, so I invited him.  I said that I understood if he didn't want to come since it would be a two-hour trip for an egg hunt, but that he was welcome to come if he wanted.  Brandon said he thought it was a good idea, and that we could celebrate Easter together, too.

So, that's what we did.  Brandon and the boys got here on Friday.  The boys had fun playing, and we had Easter dinner once Scott got home from work.

Zeke and I played outside.

And we had fun inside.  Zeke attacked Connor...

...and it turned into a piggy back ride.

On Saturday morning, we had breakfast and then went to the Easter Egg Hunt.  When we got back home, we painted Easter eggs.  They made plain eggs, speckled eggs, eggs with writing, and tie-dye eggs.  We all had such a great time!

Of course I had a great time with everyone here, but this was an especially great weekend for me because Brandon wanted to come celebrate Easter with me, even though Mom and Dad weren't able to.  It wasn't like it was a chore or something that he felt he had to do.  He came because he wanted to.  And we got together because we wanted to.  I love that I have a brother that I get along with so well.  We don't just see each other because of our parents; obviously, we genuinely enjoy spending time together.

And although I don't like to think about it, and I hope that this is a long way off, I do realize that there will come a day that my parents won't be here.  I know of so many siblings who stop getting together once their parents are gone.  Sometimes it happens even before that.  It's nice to know that I won't have to worry about that.

I'm scared!

According to MorphThing, this is what my daughter will look like.  No, I didn't request a girl.  This is just what came up, and I can't get a boy to come up.  And, no, this baby is not on its way.  If this is really how the baby will look, adoption may be the better option.  Glad I found out before getting pregnant.  :-)  (But, I do like that she has blonde hair and blue eyes.)

I am kidding.  Of course I'll still have kids.  Especially since, given the same program, this is what Brandon or I should have looked like:

I'm thinking the program is not too accurate.

My Day

First, my big news of the day...

I OWN MY CAR!

I mailed in my final payment today, and I should receive my title in a couple of weeks.  I'm so happy to be done with this monthly payment...over 3 1/2 years early. ☺

When I got home from the Post Office, I started working on a new spring project.

I totally copied Shannon.  If you want to see her directions so you can make your own, click here.  Thanks for the great idea!

Scott's Post

Today was Scott's first Saturday of tax season.  I spent the day cleaning up.  Our house wasn't a disaster area, but it hadn't been really cleaned (vacuumed, mopped, dusted) since before Christmas.  Since he was working all day, I cleaned our house today.

When Scott came home, he said, "I love you.  Thank you for cleaning.  I don't have a blog, but if I did, I'd blog about how wonderful you are."

So...I'm blogging it for him.  Because I think it's important for couples to pay attention to the little things that we do for each other.  And to thank each other for those things.